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Jingle Fever/Transcript
scene opens up showing the Frosty Mart. Lenny walks by a window and sees an ad Lenny: the ad "Write the winning jingle for the Frosty Mart and win a million Frosty Bucks"? WHAT?!? sips They're gonna let sips our customers write the jingle? sips But they're all idiots! sips pop in through the door, singing and dancing (Song: The Dollar Dance) Fanboy: Double D to the- Chum Chum: O- Fanboy: With a double L- Chum Chum: and an A- Fanboy: and an R- Fanboy and Chum Chum: What's that spell? Dollar, uh-huh, uh-huh! Dollar, uh-huh, uh-huh! Fanboy: Listen up yal, cause it's time to do...the Dollar Dance! Chum Chum: What dance? Fanboy: The Dollar Dance! Fanboy and Chum Chum: The Dollar Dance! Fanboy: First you get a dollar... Chum Chum: A nice, crispy dollar... Fanboy: And you shake it in the air like you just don't care! Chum Chum: (I don't care!) Fanboy: And wiggle it about, and turn it all around... Chum Chum: Around! Fanboy: Cause now you just did... Fanboy and Chum Chum: The Dollar Dance! Fanboy: Say what? Fanboy and Chum Chum: The Dollar Dance! THE DOLLAR DANCE!!! starts to moan and quiver. Scene dissolves to his fantasy of F&C winning the contest Agent Johnson: Fanboy's hand Congratulations, Fanboy and Chum Chum! Your jingle just won a million Frosty Bucks! What are you gonna do now? Fanboy: Well, first we'd like to roll around in it, like so. they roll around in the money Fanboy: And then, we'd like to spend a dollar a day for a million days here at the Frosty Mart with our best friend, Lenny! on a dumbfounded Lenny. Kazoo music plays as F&C dance around him of fantasy to an extreme close-up of Lenny's eyes. He wimpers, only to see Fanboy's hand come into view Fanboy: Hello? Lenny? out to show him waving his hand in Lenny's face Lenny! La-la-la-la Lenny! screams and faints Fanboy: Hey, me and Chum Chum have a problem. You see, we only have a dollar, and we just cannot agree what to spend it on. Man, I wish we had more money. the ad on the window Huh? Hey, what's that new poster all about? screams and throws the register at the window, making a hole in it Fanboy: Why'd you do that, Lenny? Lenny: Oh, just such a nice day. Thought you'd enjoy some fresh air. deeply Radio announcer: Hey, all you Wacky Wednesday listeners! How would you like to win a million -- smashes the radio Fanboy: Why'd you do that, Lenny? Lenny: Oh, just thought you'd rather listen to the soothing sounds of the in-store muzak. soothing music on speaker Fanboy: Oh, that is nice. Chum Chum: Very pleasant. music changes to the contest ad Radio announcer: We interrupt this muzak to announce the Frosty Mart Jingle Con -- throws a mop at the speaker, breaking it Lenny: deeply Radio announcer: --Test, where you get to write the new jingle. Lenny: Ah! Radio announcer: Remember to submit your jungle by 5:00 today... rips the other speaker out of the wall and proceeds to destroy the others Radio announcer: I just can't stop talking about this jingle contest! Whoo! No purchase necessary. Void in cali -- That's a whole nother -- speakers are destroyed Lenny: the ruined speakers Boy, am I butter fingers today. the speakers out of the scene Well, let's get you two rung up and on your way out of here. to push them out Fanboy: But we haven't picked out what we want yet! Lenny: pushing and thinks Here, take two of everything! rolls them out in a full cart Fanboy: But we haven't paid! Chum Chum: Yeah, don't you want our dollar? Lenny: It's on the house. doors close sighs Whew. Too close. doors open, F&C are eating something Chum Chum: Thanks for the snack, Lenny. swallow Fanboy: Yeah, now we have all the energy we need to write out jingle for the Frosty Mart Contest. blast out of the screen, Lenny coughs from the smoke. A fanfare sounds, followed by some Hip Hop music. Dollarnator beatboxes to the beat as F&C work on their first jingle: a rap (Song: Frosty Freezy Freeze Rap) Chum Chum: Yo, what's your favorite drink at the Frosty Mart? It's a... Fanboy and Chum Chum: Frosty Freezy Freeze! Fanboy: I need an F, an R, an O An S, a T, a Y Uhh...and then another F! Lenny: groans Chum Chum: over A Frosty Freezy Freeze! goes to night, then back to day. F&C are still working Fanboy: Give me an F, to the R, to the O, to the D To the M, to the A, to the R, to the 3! gets exasperated as he groans more I need an F, an R, a double E, then a Z, an E... Fanboy: Wait a minute, am I on "Freeze" or "Freezy"? Lenny: twitching You're...on "Frosty"! Fanboy: "Frosty". pause CUT! CUT! This is never gonna work. Dollarnator: I thought the beat was phat. Fanboy: pause Hey, what was that first thing we had? Chum Chum: Hmm. Mmm... up a music sheet and reads it off Frooostyyyy Maaaart! Oh, wait, that's not right. Fanboy: No, wait a minute. Try that again. Chum Chum: Frooostyyyy Maaaart! Dollarnator: pause Ding. Fanboy: Nice "ding," Dollarnator. Dollarnator: I was riding on your groove, man. Fanboy: No, it's good. It's good! But is it good enough? enters the Mart, floating Hank: Ohhhhhhhh. I was ten blocks away, when suddenly I felt compelled to shop at the... Frooostyyyy Maaaart! Diiiing! Fanboy away You know where I can find it? and Chum Chum smile at each other Fanboy: Dollarnator, tell me you were recording on that last take! rewinds the tape on his player and plays it back Chum Chum on player: Frooostyyyy Maaaart! Dollarnator on player: Ding. Dollarnator: Got it. Fanboy: Gentlemen, we have our jingle! High four! slap hands Fanboy/Chum Chum/Dollarnator: singing DING! Chum Chum and Dollarnator talk in the background Lenny: That jingle was actually catchy, and surprisingly effective in bringing in customers. Hank: by and puts groceries on the counter I don't know why, but I'll take all this. Ding! Lenny: gasp I've gotta destroy it! Fanboy: Maaaart! Dollarnator: Ding. Lenny: Hey, great session. Uh, why don't you take five? Frosty Freezy Freezes on me. ready to throw them Chum Chum: Wow. Musicians really do get all the -- thrown perrrrrrks! crash into something Fanboy: Whoa! Lenny: over to Dollarnator Heeeey, crazy futuristic robot thing, haha. Come over here, I want to show you something. approach the microwave Lenny: It's right here, next to the microwave. Dollarnator: No! I should not be near a microwave! I have a pacemaker! Lenny: Aw, that's too bad. Then I'll just put it on BAKED POTATO!!! puts the microwave on "high" and it sends out burning waves Dollarnator: mumbling Circuits misfiring. Memory erasing. Hot dogs defrosting! ground, spits out hot dogs and gags laughs evily, then turns the microwave off approach, drinking their freeze Chum Chum: Ooh, hot dogs too. I love being a rock star. Fanboy: Hey, Lenny. Want to hear our jingle? Lenny: I'd love to. Fanboy: Hit it, Dollarnator! tries to start up, but he couldn't Chum Chum: W-where is it? Dollarnator: I have lost total recall! Someone has erased my jingle all the way! Who am I? I think I have to get my butt to mars -- get my butt to mars -- get my butt to mars -- over Fanboy and Chum Chum: gasp Lenny: Aw, that's too bad. You really can't trust those old machines...from the future. Chum Chum: You mean...o-our jingle is gone? Fanboy: That's okay, we can remember it. F-f-f-f-f Oh, I can't think! I got the brain freeze something bad, man. Lenny: I guess it's true what they say about the jingle industry. Chews you up and spits you out. register groan sadly Lenny is humming while cleaning the counter. He finds F&C, who sigh. He goes outside to sweep the doorstep, but looks down. F&C are on the broom, sighing. Lenny goes back in and hums while stocking the shelves. He sees F&C on the shelf and screams. F&C sigh Lenny: It was just a stupid jingle, cheer up! Fanboy: Well, the only thing that cheers us up is singing our cheer up song. Lenny: Then sing your stupid cheer up song. Chum Chum: Yeah, but our cheer up song's about -- Lenny: JUST SING IT! Fanboy: sighs All right. I guess it's worth a shot. walk out of the scene and a piano plays a smooth intro. Briefly we see a curtain, but then it opens up to reveal Fanboy and Chum Chum as they start to sing (Song: Live at the Frosty Mart!) Fanboy and Chum Chum: When we're both feeling down And we're wearing a frown And you can't pry us up off the floor... There's only one thing That makes our hearts sing That's the "ding" of a sliding glass door! dance on the mat, making it open and close for several seconds Lenny: Ugh! Just sing your stupid song already! Fanboy: Well, if you're gonna be THAT way about it... Chum Chum: Hmph. walk out of the mart briefly, but powerslide back in Fanboy and Chum Chum: We want to live at the Frosty Mart! Lenny: Oh, please, no. Fanboy and Chum Chum: It's open all 24 hours We'd lay our heads in hot dog beds And take Frosty Freezy Freeze showers We want to work at the Frosty Mart! We'll gladly be its willing slaves Chum Chum: It would be neat-o to serve your buritto Fanboy: Fresh from the microwave Fanboy and Chum Chum: The Frosty Mart's so gleaming and spotless We must have tiny convince store elves Lenny: Yeah, right. Fanboy and Chum Chum: You can find what you want for a lot less Fanboy: If Boog ever restocks the shelves? Boog: Get off my back, already. I'm playing a Chimp Chomp solo. electronic beeps are heard as Boog plays his solo Fanboy and Chum Chum: The Frosty Mart is always part of where I want to play! It's also got the perfect start of every perfect day! So pull apart a shopping cart and let's be on our way... To the freeziest, the cheesiest, the guard against the sneeziest, The classiest, sunglassiest, the toxic nacho gaseous, To live at the Frosty Mart... Lenny: You practically do already. Fanboy and Chum Chum: Today! We want to live at the Frosty Mart! Dollarnator: Ding. pant. Suddenly, the door opens to reveal agent Johnson clapping slowly Agent Johnson: That. Was. Amazing! Agent Johnson, head of security and all Frosty Mart related jubilation. Gentlemen, that little diddy is perfect for our new store jingle. Fanboy: Hey, yeah, it was pretty good. Why didn't we just submit that? Chum Chum: Let's do it now! Lenny: Ah! You can't, it's too late. The contest's over, and you didn't win it. It's after 5:00. Boog: No, it ain't. That clock's fast. Lenny: WHAT? Boog: Every day I set it an hour ahead. Sometimes two if I want to catch a matinee. Johnson folds his arms and clears his throat Boog: Oops, got to go. I mean, stay! Heh. Fanboy: So, that means... and Chum Chum win! Agent Johnson: Fanboy's hand Congratulations! You boys are the official winners of the Frosty Mart Jingle Contest! And here's your prize: One million Frosty Bucks! What are you gonna do now? Fanboy: Well, first we'd like to roll around in it, and then we'd like to spend a dollar a day for a million days here at the Frosty Mart with our best friend Lenny! echo hug Lenny Lenny: Huh? spotlight goes out Dollarnator: Ding. Category:Transcripts